I grew up a poor child, but was a gifted youth. At 6 I won the North Montana Bear Wrestling championship, at 11 I penned the theory of gravity and at 15 I created carrots. At 21 (the youngest airship captain ever) I commanded the Airship “Aces and Eights”. which was lost due to freak incident known as Blanco Montaña. On an unrelated note, I also discovered that montaña means Mountain in Spanish, and does not refer to the state of Montana. I next commanded the Airship “El Borrachon” which was lost due to not realizing that when the instructions of an ACME 24 person inflatable life raft state; “Do not open in confined spaces” it’s meant to be taken literally. After an unfortunate incident regarding Professor Trombone’s Electro-penguins, and the loss of the Airship “Gilded Decadence” I applied for and received a privateering license from the Federal Government. Thus appointed I embarked upon a series of rakish adventures including “Quest for the Quaker’s Gold”, “The Rum of Rangoon”, and the “Saloon Girls of St Seyloo”, (available in serialized format in most Penny Arcades). Finally after spending time gathering reconnaissance in Spanish Cuba at a variety of Beach Taverns and Dive Bars, I have come to grace Misfortune’s Landing with my famous presence.